"Do You Trust Me?"

"Do you trust me?",  God asked.  The question pierced my heart and dug deep into the recesses of my soul that I try to keep hidden.  I remember the question clearly, as if He asked yesterday and not the winter of last year.  I don't remember the exact date, I don't remember the sermon that had just been preached or who preached it, but I remember the encounter at the altar on that Sunday evening.

"Do I trust you?",  I contemplated.  "God,  I believe in you.  I have faith in you.  My hope is in you.  My trust is in you."

"But do you trust me?"

I guess I know a little how Peter must have felt when Jesus asked, "Do you love me?"  You can't sidestep questions from The One who knows your thoughts.  He already knows the answers; He is asking to see if you do.

"Lord, I want to trust you."  Do I get credit for that?  He says He will give us the desires of our hearts, so if I want to trust isn't that good enough?  Can't He just make me trust Him?

"Do you trust that everything I have planned for you is out of my love for you?  Do you trust me with your family?  With your finances?  With your hopes and dreams?"  God dug deep.  He wanted me to let go.  To quit trying to control (since I never could in the first place).

I remember the encounter.

I prayed, searched.  Why is it so hard?  Why am I afraid to trust the one who gave me life and loves me more than I can ever imagine?  Why am I afraid that if I say those words "I trust you",  it will be giving God permission to do things that will cause me pain?  As if that is what God wants?  As if He ever needed my permission to do anything if the first place?

I thought about things that had led me to be hesitant to trust God.  The lies I've believed.  Do I dare let go of my magical thinking that suggests that by not trusting God, I can some how control Him?

"God,  I want to be whole hearted in the way I live my life.  I want to be closer to you than I have ever been.  I want to live out your purpose for me."

God responds.  "You can.  But first, you have to trust me."

But Satan's lies have not been silenced.  "Look what happens to people who trust God.   Financial ruin. Rejection.  Sickness.  Death."  Those lies are familiar.  I have heard them frequently, and believed them more often than I care to admit.

I cry out, "God, people who trust you are often struck by tragedy.  They suffer losses.  They hurt.  I don't want any of that."

God responds.  "People who don't trust me are often struck by tragedy.  They suffer losses.  They hurt."

I stop to think.  Things happen because I live in an evil world.  Have I really believed that if I trust God He is going to send calamity my way?  Or do I believe that if I trust God that no matter what comes my way, He is there?  Empowering me, strengthening me, walking beside me, even carrying me.

On this night, I must make a decision.  It feels like an appointment with the divine.  There is spiritual ground to take.

"God, I trust you!  I trust that you are a good and loving God who works all things for my good.  I refuse to believe Satan's lies any longer.  I not only trust in you. I trust YOU."

I remember the encounter.

Trusting God.  What a difference it makes!  The Israelites didn't trust God, so they forfeited the right to enter the promised land.  But as the Psalmist David wrote, "Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord."  Trust gives peace, quietens the unrest that threatens my spirit.  Trust allowed Jesus to sleep when the boat was tossing and turning.  Trust allows me to rest when life feels like it is spinning out of control.

I am so thankful that He speaks to me.  In my spirit.  Through His word.  That He continues to change me to be more like Him.

I am thankful for the encounter.

"Lord, thank you for loving me enough to pierce my soul with your questions.  Thank you for not leaving me like I am."

Is Your Promised Land in Sight?

Finally, Moses starts preparing Israel for the time they have been waiting for:  the time to enter the promised land!  For 40 years, 2 1/2 million people (twice the population of metropolitan New Orleans) have been in transition.  How bittersweet and emotional that 40 years must have been --  celebrating new life as babies were born, grieving the loss of loved ones who died,  frequently moving from one place to another, and all the while awaiting a promise.

Just before it is time to move into the land God has promised, Moses takes the opportunity to prepare the people for the battle ahead.  For while the land is theirs, they still must fight to take possession.  The former residents of the promised land didn't just move out and put a sign out front saying "Welcome, it's all yours!".  Moses warns that there will be challenges ahead.  But he tells them how to prepare for the challenges:


Moses instructs the people in Deuteronomy 11: 11 - 28: The Lord says, ... 'You must love the LORD your God, and serve him with all your heart and all your soul. If you do that, I will send rain for your land at the right time ... You will have plenty to eat.' “Remember these commands I give you. Keep them in your hearts. Write them down and tie them on your hands and wear them on your foreheads ... Teach these laws to your children. Talk about these things when you sit in your houses, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.  Write these commands on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates ... Be careful to obey every command I have told you to follow: Love the LORD your God, follow all his ways, and be faithful to him ... Today I am giving you a choice. You may choose the blessing or the curse. You will get the blessing if you listen and obey the commands of the LORD your God ... But you will get the curse if you refuse to listen and obey ...."


Love God.  Obey him.  Follow his commands.  Be faithful.  Remember his faithfulness.  Teach future generations about his faithfulness, his promises, and his commands.  Pretty simple instructions that made the difference in blessings in their lives and curses that would result from disobedience.


It's almost funny the way Moses tells them to remind themselves of God's laws.  Keep them in your hearts, wear them on your foreheads, tie them on your hands, write them on your doorposts and on your gates.  Kind of like we would put them on the refrigerator, place notes on our bathroom mirror, jot them in our calendar, make a screen saver with the notes, place reminders in our cell phones, write them on a post-it note.


God requires the same thing of us that he did of Israel.  We too, must remember God's word each day.  We, too, are facing battles.  Our battles may be against the enemy of our souls.  It may be that we are fighting for something that God has promised to us.  God doesn't always deliver everything to us on a silver platter -- sometimes he requires us to fight!  He may have made us a promise, but we may be having to fight to attain it.  I believe when we are pursuing the promises of God, he would assure us as Moses did Israel in Deuteronomy 31 : 6 :  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid . . . , for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Is your promise in sight?  Do you have a glimpse of what he has promised you? You may have obstacles to overcome, but if God has promised it to you, it is yours!  I don't know about you, but I plan to serve God, armed with his word in my heart, so that I can attain that which he has for me!

What's in Egypt Besides the Pyramids?

I am a Christian Counselor now, but my undergraduate degree is in accounting.  I can't say I prayed about that decision, even though I was a Christian when I attended college.  I just wanted a degree where I could get a job.

I got a job.  For years I felt tied to it.  I worked extremely long hours and felt it consumed my life.  While it was financially rewarding, personally I felt empty, frustrated, and drained.  After the birth of our second son, my husband and I made the decision to sacrifice the financial security the job provided and for me to stay home with our two sons.  I felt I had been set free to enjoy life!

I think I can relate a little to how the Israelites must have felt after they left Egypt.  They were free!

And look at the miracles God performed for them when He delivered them.  He protected their first-born while taking the lives of the first-born of the Egyptians.  He parted the Red Sea and released its waters just in time to wash away the Egyptian army that was in hot pursuit.   He provided manna, quail, and water.  God spoke to them from the mountain, then dwelt among them in the tabernacle.  He led them in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire at night.  How could they be anything but full of anticipation at what God was going to do next?

But,  instead of being excited about where God was taking them, Israel quickly got caught up in thinking about what they thought they had left behind.  God had spent a few months preparing Israel for the actual 11 day journey from Mt. Sinai to Kadesh-Barnea, on the outskirts of Canaan.  About 3 days into the journey to Canaan, the Israelites started whining and complaining.  Numbers 11 : 1 - 5 says:  And the people of Israel also began to complain. “Oh, for some meat!” they exclaimed. “We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted.  But now our appetites are gone. All we ever see is this manna!”  Numbers 20: 1 - 5 : "You brought us into this desert, and now we and our livestock are going to die! Egypt was better than this horrible place. At least there we had grain and figs and grapevines and pomegranates. But now we don't even have any water."


What?  Slavery in Egypt was better than God promising you victory over your enemies and giving you everything you could possibly need??  Are they crazy?  What about those taskmasters that the people served under that the Bible describes as ruthless?  The Pharaoh who ordered that their baby boys be killed?  


 Did they really believe they would go back to Egypt and enjoy all the fresh seafood, vegetables, and fruit juice they wanted?  Why would anyone want to go to Egypt other than to see the pyramids anyway?

As I smugly judged the Israelites for their bad attitude, the Holy Spirit convicted me of mine.  I, too, have been guilty of looking back at my Egypt and remembering it wrong.  "God, at least when I worked in the financial field I had a good pay check.  Do you know what I would be making now if I hadn't quit?" "God, why didn't I just stick it out?  I could be getting ready to retire now."  "God, most people don't really appreciate what I do.  I feel very taken for granted."


What do I do at times?  Whine.  Complain.  I know God gets just as tired of me whining as He did Israel.   Here he has blessed me and given me opportunities that I didn't deserve.  God provided a way out for me when I made a decision without consulting Him.  He blessed me with precious time with my husband and children.  He gave me an opportunity to serve Him by counseling people who are struggling.

By the way, remember Israel's comments about figs, grapes, and pomegranates in Egypt?   Look what Numbers 13 : 23 said the advance party brought back from Canaan:  "They cut off a branch bearing a single cluster of grapes.  Two of them carried it on a pole between them, along with some pomegranates and figs."  One cluster of grapes took 2 men to carry!  God's promise for their future exceeds anything they ever thought they had in the past!


What does God have planned for me?  I don't know, but I intend to quit complaining that I don't have what I never had in the first place.  Instead, as it says in Philippians 3:13:  I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.  I am focusing on God's promises for my future!


"Father, forgive me for my unappreciative attitude.  Thank you for second chances.  Forgive me for complaining.  Lord, I know you have blessed me far beyond what I have ever deserved.  Thank you for opportunities past and for the ones to come."

Doing It God's Way

Ever gotten directions on how to go some where and thought, "that sounds good, but I think I will just do it my way",  only to soon discover that your way wasn't so good after all?  A few wrong turns and you discover you are way off course and where you are isn't where you want to be.  


We have this thing about living the way we want, (it all started in the garden),  but the Bible is very specific on how we are supposed to live.  There is only one way, and that is GOD'S way.  Leviticus 18 : 4 - 5 quotes God as saying:  "You must obey ALL my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees, for I am the LORD your God. If you obey my decrees and my regulations, you will find LIFE through them. I am the LORD". 

The book of Leviticus is a guidebook to the children of Israel on how to do things God's way.  We might read it and think, "Really, God, did you have to go into all of this detail?"  It is very specific, giving regulations on daily living to annual celebrations.  God didn't leave anything in doubt.  As we read what God required,  some of His purposes are easy to understand --  like maintaining  hygiene and containing contagious diseases -- and others might not make sense to us at all.  But God made it clear:  Israel was to do everything exactly as He said.

There is a benefit to doing things God's way that is explained in Leviticus 26: 3 - 12:  "If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops . . . I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid... Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will chase ten thousand, and your enemies will fall by the sword before you.  I will look on you with favor ..."


Provision.  Peace.  Favor.  What amazing promises are given to those who obey God!


There was a song made famous years ago entitled "My Way".  In it, the song writer describes reaching the end and being able to say say he did things his way.  How sad.  Proverbs 14 : 12 says:  There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.  


Doing it my way.  Death.  Doing it God's way -- Provision, peace, favor, LIFE!   I want to live my live so that I can say:  I did it GOD"S WAY!